10 Rules for a Better Life (#7)

"You shall not commit adultery." Exodus 20:14

Before you make the mistake of thinking that God only cares about your sex life after you are married, let me give you another verse:

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." Hebrews 13:4

Whether you are married or not, God demands that we respect the marriage relationship that He initiated. And what you do before you find a husband or wife is just as important as what you do afterward.

Perhaps you are someone who does not like to be told what to do or not do with your own body. Perhaps you think, "It's my body; I can do whatever I want with it!" If not, you are probably surrounded by people at your school or your community who think this way.

Well, in a way, we can do whatever we want. We all make choices and God has shown that He does not stop us from making the stupid choice even if we're directly disobeying Him. However, just because we may want to do certain things, doesn't mean we'll be happier if we go through with them.
Think of your life as one long road. Time is always passing, so you are always moving along the road. And every time you have to make a decision, you come to a fork in the road or an intersection (usually there are more than two options). Almost 100% of the time we try to pick the road that will lead us to the most joy or happiness or away from the most pain or discomfort.

Now stop and think for a moment. So far, how well do you think you've done at choosing the road that leads to the most happiness and away from the most pain? Probably not as well as you would like. We don't always know where our decisions will lead, but we do know that we can't ever go back and fix our mistakes. We have to live with the consequences of our actions, whether good or bad.

But God knows every single outcome for every decision we make. And guess what, He WANTS good things for you. In fact, God wants the BEST things for you. He wants you to grow up to have a job doing something you enjoy. He wants you to have a great marriage and a caring family (yes, some Christians never get married and that's fine, too).

So when God says not to have sex outside of marriage, remember that He is trying to help us stay on the road that leads to more happiness and joy. Again, God knows where all the roads lead. And the road of sexual purity leads people to strong relationships, marriages, and families characterized by trust, mutual respect, and genuine love and appreciation for each other.

The alternative is sexual immorality or promiscuity. That road may feel easy now as you just do whatever feels good with whomever you want whenever you want. But God knows where that one leads, too. It leads to broken relationships riddled with guilt, jealousy, and disrespect. It also leads to STDs, unplanned pregnancies, abortions, single parents, dropping out of school, and basically a ruined life.

There are basically two roads here and God is trying to tell you through His Word, "Take the first road, it's better. Trust me, I know."

Yeah, the road of sexual purity goes uphill and it's harder to climb, but the reward at the top is definitely worth it.

However, the road of sexual immorality may start easy enough, but it goes downhill fast until you lose control and slide down to a dark, depressing place where I guarantee nobody wants to be.Even if you think you can "be careful" and avoid contracting a disease or getting pregnant: 1.) Is it really worth the risk of giving up the plans you have for the rest of your life? 2.) Do you really think you'll be able to have a good marriage with someone when both of you have already given your bodies to several other people?

And for those of you who have been reading along and think that you have fully kept this commandment, remember Jesus' words:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Mathew 5:27-28

What we look at and what we think about are just as important as what we do with our bodies. God is not just interested in our outward actions, but He cares about our thoughts and attitudes even more. In order to remain faithful to your current or future spouse (and to God), you must be sexually pure inside and out.

And nothing cleanses better than than the blood of Jesus Christ. It's true, we all make mistakes. Even though we'll have to live with the consequences of our decisions, there is still forgiveness for any sin we have committed through the death and resurrection of God's Son.

Whatever road you're on now, Jesus can guide you back to the one that leads to the joy and fulfillment that can only be found in the One who created you in the first place.

10 Rules for a Better Life (#6)

"You shall not murder." Exodus 20:13

Many people come to the sixth commandment and go, "Ah-ha! I know I've kept this one! I can honestly say that I've never killed another person in my life." But before you start patting yourself on the back, remember what Jesus had to say about this topic:

"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment." Matthew 5:21-22

Was Jesus changing the rules on us? No. Just a few verses before this, Jesus said, "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." (Matthew 5:17) Jesus is simply giving us a deeper understanding of what the original commandment was supposed to mean in the first place.

Do ever remember your parents telling you to apologize to your brother or sister? You might have blurted out a quick "Sorry," but you and everyone else knew you didn't mean it. Or maybe you were supposed to do a chore like sweep the floor. So you took the broom and swept it across the floor, but didn't leave it very clean when you were done.

Sometimes we obey God the same way we "obey" our parents, teachers, etc. We take the instructions they give us and we look for loopholes. Whether it's because we're lazy or we just want our own way, we look at God's law and try to find ways to get away with as much as we can without "technically" breaking the rules.

Therefore, some people think, "As long as I'm not killing somebody I can treat others however I want." Then Jesus comes along to tell us, "That's not what I meant and you know it!" Jesus came to show us that God isn't just concerned about our actions and the appearance we give on the outside. He also judges our thoughts, attitudes, and the other areas of our lives that nobody else sees.

In the end, obeying God's law comes down to trust. Do you trust that what God wants (and knows) what is good for your life? If not then I don't know why you're still reading. But if you say you trust God with your life, then stop looking at God's laws trying to find ways to keep some control over your life. Instead, search God's Word for ways you can put your life in His hands.

As Jesus continues to teach in Matthew chapter 5, He gives us some practical advice. He basically says that calling people names and treating them with contempt is as offensive to God as murder. He also tells us that if we leave things unresolved with another person that it will negatively affect our relationship with Him. It's difficult to have open, honest communication with God when you feel like strangling one of His children.So if you're like me you probably haven't killed anybody, but you still need to rethink how you view the sixth commandment. I've never taken anyone's life, but I've lashed out in anger (physically and verbally), I've held a grudge, I've sought to get revenge, and I'm sure much more. All of these things violate the sixth commandment because this is not how God wants me to treat others. Even the things I've wanted to do or say but never went through with still hurt God because He knows my heart.

I'm not going to pretend that following God's law or Jesus' teaching (basically the same thing) is easy. So don't pretend to follow God through your actions when your heart is not in it. It would be better if you would just admit to yourself that you don't trust God and go from there than to continue fooling yourself and everyone else into thinking you do. Just remember that God is never fooled. He knows the state of your heart even if you don't.

If you aren't sure about the condition of your heart, bring it before God. He can fix any attitude and show you how to match your thoughts and desires with the kind of life you want to live.

10 Rules for a Better Life (#5)

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12

In the stand-up comedy routine, "Bill Cosby Himself," Cosby comments a lot on the relationship between parents and their kids. At one point, he relates a time when he comes home and finds his wife in a sour mood. All she says is, "I want you to go upstairs . . . and kill that boy."

So Cosby goes up to his son's room and finds him looking "pitful." This reminds Cosby of the many times his own mother had told him, "When your father comes home, he's going to shoot you in the face with a bazooka . . . and I am not going to stop him this time either! You know, he's always wanted to kill you!"Many people point to Exodus 20:12 as the "first commandment with a promise" since the second part of the verse reads: "so that you may live long . . ." While that may be the case, I think this commandment is also one of those rules that you follow for your own good!

Just like the odds of living a long life are better when you don't play in busy streets and such, you're more likely to live a long life if you're not ticking off your parents all the time. Even though Bill Cosby is exaggerating when he says to his son, "I brought you into this world and I'll take you out!" his material is funny because parents can relate to that feeling of getting so angry with their kids that they feel like resorting to violence.

So it makes perfect sense that God would tell the children of Israel, "Look, if you want to live a while longer, make sure you respect the parents I've put over you . . . you know, they've always wanted to kill you."

I realize that things are a bit different today than they were during the time of Moses. Back then, children who blatantly disrespected their parents in public could receive capital punishment. Today, people are offended by the notion of parents spanking their kids. Nevertheless, God does not say, "Honor your father and mother only if they deserve it or because you're afraid they might kill you otherwise."

We should honor, respect, and obey our parents because they are the ones God has put over us. And if you do that, life at home will be a lot better. Think about it, wouldn't things be a lot easier around the house if the kids and the parents were able to get along instead of yelling at each other all the time?

Furthermore, kids who have a good relationship with their parents are less likely to try drugs/alcohol, get involved in gangs, wind up in prison, etc. And people who don't get mixed up in stuff like that typically live longer lives. So the next time someone is making fun of you for obeying your parents, think about where they might be in the next 5-10 years: Rehab? Prison? Maybe even a coffin?Colossians 3:18-21 gives us a picture of what a Godly household looks like:
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
This is how God wants us to live: in a caring family where people respect one another and treat each other unselfishly.

Are you always going to get along with your parents? Probably not. But if you stop worrying about being cool for a moment and think about it, you'll realize that your life will be better (and probably longer) if you learn to respect and honor them like God says.

And that's the bottom line, what God says is always right. If you still have a problem with the idea of honoring your parents, take it up with Him and tell me how that works out for you.

10 Rules for a Better Life (#4)

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” Exodus 20:8-11

Have you ever had to put a 2-year-old down for a nap? Or better yet, can you remember what it was like to have your parents tell YOU to take a nap? If not, then perhaps you know what it's like to stay up well past your bedtime.

The point is most of us (if not all of us) have difficulty admitting when we need to rest. Oh sure, we'll gladly take a nap when it's time for school, work, etc. But we rarely cut time out of our busy schedules simply to rest.

Usually, we think that as long as we go to church on Sunday then we've properly "remembered the Sabbath." But once the service lets out, we go right back to our busy schedule. Sunday is just another day to get last week's stuff done before Monday comes again.

Now I don't want us to get confused about which day is considered the "Sabbath." Originally it was (and still is) Saturday for the Jews, now many Christians observe it on Sunday. Today, some people have to work on Sundays because they work in a hospital or something like that. But what's important is that you have that one day of the week somewhere in there that is dedicated to remembering and resting.
God knows exactly how busy and forgetful we are. He knew we would need a day to rest just like anyone knows a young child needs a nap. He also knows that humans tend to get so busy that they forget about Him. So He intentionally put the Sabbath day into our schedules and commanded us to observe it because it's so good for us!

Like all the rules God gives us, the fourth commandment is mostly for our benefit rather than God's. He does not need us to remember Him to keep His self-esteem up; He is fully sufficient within Himself. Rather, God tells us to remember to come to Him because He knows we need Him. Just as Jesus said in Mark 2:27 "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath."

So this week, make sure there's one day dedicated to resting and remembering your Creator. And remember this as well: God is about relationship, not performance. He is not impressed with how much you can get done. If God was interested in our efficiency He would not have created us to need seven to eight hours of sleep every day! But He is interested in spending time with us.

Since time is our most valuable commodity, you might hesitate to give God an entire day out of your week, but time spent with God is never wasted.